Success Through Self Awareness
by: JOHNNIE HAYGOOD
CHAPTER 9 - 05:16

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

WE MUST STOP MAKING THE BEST OF THE EXISTING SITUATIONS
AND START MAKING THE BEST EXISTING SITUATIONS . . .
 
Being without the knowledge of self has created a communication breakdown within many homes and marriages. Over the next few pages I will share some of the Universal Principles that can birth love, harmony and unity within any home and family.
 
When we think of family, the first image that comes to mind is man, woman, and child. Through this image, in many cases we can see cruelty, frustration and neglect, ie., cruelty is the father, frustration in the mother, and neglect in the child.

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Most relationships between husband and wife begin as harmonious liaisons; therefore, with an understanding between the two, any correlation can remain in harmony with a little effort from all involved.
 
When man meets woman, a true interest is aroused. He's motivated to do all that is within his power to satisfy his woman. Does he stop to ask himself what his interest is based upon? Is it based on mere sexual attractions? Is he simply interested in someone to cook and clean. And for the woman, is she only looking for an end to her financial worries?
 
These are some of the questions that each should ask themselves, before entering a man/woman relationship. If by chance you can see your motives were such, then you will know why harmony and unity do not exist within your relationship.
 
Universal love, and understanding are the two aspects of life that will keep two people together. Understand that each individual should take a closer look at themselves, as well as accepting their responsibility as a mate. Each person should admit their own shortcomings instead of casting the problem on their mate. When there is a disagreement, try to communicate on a positive level so that the conflict can be blotted out without arousing negative emotions.
Whatever little nice things you did to satisfy your mate before you got the go signal, continue them as long as you are together.
                                            
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Before we capture the intimacy that we are seeking some of us will go to any extreme to impress the opposite sex. The woman will beautify herself to look good for him. He in return, will buy her little gifts, put on his best suit when going to see her. After the chase is over, and they come together as husband and wife, it isn't long before they start looking at each other through different eyes. Why?

(1) The husband stops doing the nice things that he use to do.

(2) The wife stops beautifying herself as she did earlier in their relationship.
 
Subconsciously, they both feel the change, and unconsciously blame the change of feelings on something else: now the seed of discontentment is planted. With neither party knowing the true reason why they began finding fault with one another. At this point, being aware of the true cause would easily alter and alleviate the friction. By coming together on a positive note and talking over your problems with your mate, you can promote a more healthy and mature household. When these measures are taken, not only will you and your counterpart feel better, but you will have grown as adults. This kind of man woman interaction will bring you together on a spiritual plane and help in establishing your matrimonial mastermind. (The two minds working as one in the same direction).
                                            
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Share everything with each other. The worse thing either spouse can do is be deceitful, be a liar, or be selfish with your mate. What belongs to one belongs to both, be it problems or pleasures. If you are doing something shady, do not think that you are getting away with anything, the law of cause and effect will eventually catch up to you and balance nature's accounts.
 
I once knew a man who remained upset most of the time. His conflicts came out of his distasteful attitude towards his job. He would go home to his wife, dissatisfied and grumpy, and dump his frustrations upon her. Everything she did was wrong. By her not understanding and empathizing, she reacted negatively and thereby helped create a house full of ill feelings and strife.
 
I am sure quite a few of you reading this book* have experienced the very same trials. First of all, we should control our attitudes and not allow circumstances to control us. If my friend would have known more about himself, he would not have been on a job which he did not enjoy.
 
Had his wife understood why he was dumping his frustrations on her, she would not have reacted in the same negative manner.
 
Men and women should have a purpose in life, when coming together as one. Have the same basic objectives, and plan to reach them together. Share ideas each day which will enhance the relationship. Understand that each of you have differing moods; when the other seems to be in a moody atmosphere, allow him or her to express their particular mood, through silence if desired.

 



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